The demon recruiter, pt3

RE: I'm sorry! Whoops! (ASAG)

RE: RE: RE: RE: Sorry not sorry. Also, someone should tell ASAG the signature goes at the end of the message.

I hope that I'm not coming across as too persistent,

The thought never crossed my mind.

but per my previous correspondence, I would welcome the opportunity to have a conversation with you to discuss the below referenced opportunity.

I now have the opportunity to create the opportunity to discuss an opportunity. We have to go deeper!

Either way, kindly respond either way by "Accepting" or "Declining" my message so that I don't message you again wondering if you received it.

But who will provide InMail Fail fodder?

If my timing is right, when would be a good time to schedule a call?

You're seventeen seconds too late, bub.

My client is revolutionizing how companies address customer feedback from social networks, leveraging big-data technologies to become the invisible fabric that enables enterprises to listen to and leverage the voice of their consumer-centric culture.

"We look at mentions on Twitter and see if people are mad"

They are conveniently located in San Francisco and have received $18M in funding, with only 47 employees.

A whopping $18MM? What is this, amature hour?

After checking-out your profile it looks like you have the ideal background for their Sr Software Engineer (Backend) need.

Their ideal backend engineer is a frontend engineer. I like how you think.

Culture of growth – personal and professional

Seriously though, what does this even mean?

Competitive Salary + Equity + Health Benefits + 401k + Unlimited Vacation

So far you're just describing my current situation.

$500 “fun budget” and Apple products

The air quotes around "fun budget" aren't helping your case

Tons of snacks and endless flow of Nespresso!

Endless?!? OH GOD THE CAFFEINE, SOMEONE, BUILD AN ARK!